New Age of Aquarius: 2011

"Just a 53 Year Old Child of the 60s-70s Rock and Roll, who never forgot the Dream of the 60s Peace and Love Stuff."

Chapter 1

Kicking around on a piece of ground, in my hometown, waiting for some little something to show me the way, tired of hanging out with the boys drinking beer. Oh, I got into some trouble as a teen back in 70's. I had to break the law in order to buy lots of that beer. Luckily, I only got caught for a few of my small town gang’s crimes.

Littleton Common is about 15 miles west of the North Bridge in Concord. That Bridge they say is where Liberty was fired around the World. My gang never saw the reality of that shot. I heard from one local Rock Band, “We are the Indians Today. Another Rock Band, who had hundreds of followers around the middle of Massatack, The Barker Gang, had told me, “They, the Cops, are the Gestapo today.”

It was cool to walk all the way to the North Bridge with Shemp of the 3 stooges, for the Bicentennial. There isn’t much I remember of that, except flipping out on some window-pain, curled up in a sleeping bag, while Arlo Guthrie was singing, and my saying to the gang I hung with, “THAT is Arlo Guthrie.

While at Club Forty's in 1993, listening to the cool juke box of those days with a 100 CDs and a 1000 songs. In the process of downing enough beer to fill my belly. I spoke up to the crowd, about how I would love to see Pink Floyd's Time: my version would have been kicking around on a piece of Littleton Common waiting for some little wonderful female to take my loneliness away. rty's was right around the corner from my Abbey Road condo.

I had some jobs. The best was as a Roady to the Band called Ridgeway Flash, my Brother played guitar in. They use to practice in my basement, where there was a 4 by 8 AMF Pool Table, with some cool rolls to it. (My being Nine of 10 kids, the older ones wouldn’t let me play them until I was Nine, because they didn’t like me beating them.) Me, and my friends use to get paid at 13 years old, for moving the Band’s equipment in and out of the Acton Coffee House, in Acton. We got paid to listen to the Band, and they had blown Aerosmith out of a Battle of the Bands, in Aerosmith’s Hometown.

Working at Toy’s Turkey Farm in Westford, at 15 was pretty cool too. The 2 old Jewish Brothers, who owned it, paid us 6 bucks an hour in the 70’s. That means we could easily afford the 20 bucks, our first bag of grass cost. Too bad inflation took over right away, and the price went up to 40 the next week.

Working at the Sheraton Hotel as a dish washer was the pits. I showed up my first night there drunk and hurting over a lovely 16 year old. It helped a little to switch to Houseman. But a friend who cleaned the kitchen at night, found out the Beer Taps in the inside courtyard were open all night. Needless to say, my last night there, me and my Boss, ended up making run after run to the Tap, dodging security every time. After coming out of the kitchen bathroom as the breakfast cooks where coming in, they say I threw up. Could be, the only blackout I ever had... After driving my friend the 10 miles home, he said, “If you could make it home that night, you could make it home any night.”

At 20, which is how old I was when I got my Sheep Skin from Nashoba Valley Technical High School, 2 Men I had never seen around town gave me a ride home. They told me I was Michael the arch-angel. They knew some things about me, that they could have only known by being there. Like, they knew I had always planed to go out to the Jesus farm in California, my Brother from the Band ended up at. They mentioned all these kids who had gotten killed in car crashes, which I blamed on them driving to fast. Wondering how come they couldn’t be saved, like the born again church would claim as their dogma: when knowing what I know now, that it is this country that is driving people too fast, causing most of today’s crimes.

Chapter 2

Well, I knew it was time to head out west to the Farm I had visited for 2 weeks on my 15th summer. This may contradict some things, but that visit sure seemed to me, to be where I first so love among people. Though there was no great awakening, when I accepted the Lamb, unlike so many others claim to have had.

It was the summer of 1978. The Greyhound Bus to 78 hours from Boston to San Francisco, where my oldest sister lived. I felt like I was still moving for days after the trip. My favorite State was Pennsylvania, with the rolling green hills with White Churches throughout the State. It was Salt Lake City, that had the cleanest Bus Station.

I wanted to hang around the city for a couple of weeks to play Pool there. I had already known where lots the Pool Rooms in the City were, from my trip to my sisters wedding a few years earlier. I had run 38 balls of 14.1 in my basement. And had even run 3 racks of 8-ball at a Club in Groton, since I could drink legally at 18 in the Commonwealth of what I now call Massatack.

My sister said that 2 weeks would be too long. (Without my having a chance to offer a couple of days) So she drove me north across the Golden State Bridge, the 45 miles to Petaluma.-The city of little hills where parts of the movie, American Graffiti had been filmed.

It turns out that some rich man, who liked what they were doing on a rented Farm,
(The one I had spent 2 weeks in the summer of 72) bought them their own Farm, way up on a hill, out in the country. They had been getting the Hippies off the street and turning them on to religion. They had about a dozen houses in Marin County, and Sonoma County. They were called Christian Houses, and the Church was called the Church of the Open Door, which met on Sundays at the Boys Club of Petaluma.

This Farm in 78 didn’t have all the farm animals of 72, like lots of chickens, pigs and even a horse. It had 4 houses, and a shack, which housed about 20 people totaled. My Brothers Construction Company, Building Projects built one New House, there was a double wide trailer, a small Cottage, an older house, and the shack with ground for its floor. Oh, and there was a swimming pool too.

I stayed in the older house which was closest to the pool. My brother, his wife, 2 year old daughter, and four adult girls lived with us when I first arrived. Different troubled people did come and go my 2 years there. That sort of came to a stop, after a man scared the girls with a shotgun, during an absence of me, and my brothers family for a visit to our relatives outside of San Diego for X-mas.

The 2 years spent there were good for my health since I did quit smoking and drinking. Though ever time a drove by a bar, I turned my head as we drove by, wishing I could play pool for a while.

Working for my Brother doing all kinds of construction was good for me. Though my favorite times at work were hanging out in the hardware stores, and supply houses looking at all the tools, and supplies.

I was always a reading a book on religion from Finney to Moody, and the Bible, and host of people I have long forgotten. I did memories both of the Lamb’s “sermon on the mount.” One thing in Proverbs has still stuck with me, “Blessed is the man who has little to say.”-(Not an exact quote but it sure did apply to me, only I never felt blessed.) And maybe now, “The writing of many books is wearingly to the soul.” The reading of what I was doing might be too.

I never got all that joy out of being saved like so many others around me seemed to have. It took a married couple where we went for bible study during a week night for me to start thinking I was ok. They got me hooked on Social Justice, with organizations like Amnesty International. Looking back though, that couple got a little sidetracked by the Nuclear Power scare of 3 mile Island.
The first few Church Worship Services were really cool. We met outside in the Park, the Boy’s Club was located on. There were about a dozen Musicians with guitars, harmonicas, drums, a key-board, a cool Lady with a Madeline, and singers. They really rocked to Christian music.

There were prophets, who had words of wisdom for people, who would speak what that still small voice of the Lamb had to say to them. Some people spoke in tongues. As you will find at born again churches; an alter call at the end were sinners could be reborn. I must had gone up for them a dozen times, the first six months, between Sundays… and Bible Studies during the week.

The Open Door Church did meet at Towns like Novato, and Glen Ellen too. One week all 3 Churches had almost the same message about living simply. They were all about that kind of recycle, and finish all your food stuff. They rotated all 3 messages between all the services, so it would be driven into all of us. I look back and say that they did all get a message from above on that one.

There were some good Retreats most of the Church would go on. I saw Arlo Guthrie on the cover of a Christian Magazine at one of those Retreats, for Arlo having become a Monk. It was on the floor, and I said, “That’s Arlo Guthrie.” I had only seen one other picture of him, and that was at least 11 years earlier on the cover of Alice’s Restaurant. I was surprised that I recognized him right away. I bought Amigo right away to listen to his Christian music, though the girls I played it for thought they were going to hear Arlo praise the Lamb. So then I bought his “Outlasting the Blues” album. I liked that one too, though it wasn’t really about praising the Lamb. One line that does stick out in my mind that explains most of my early life is this verse, “I’ve had a hard time letting feelings show.”

At one of those retreats there was a well known speaker. The couple who turned me on to Social Justice asked him about Nuclear Power. I’ve agreed with him since, that Nuclear Power is a fact of life. Like I wish the Religious Right would start saying about abortions.

I did meet my future, wife and future x-wife at Boy’s Club service. She drifted down to Petaluma from Northern California, because her Grand Mother and Grand Father lived in town. The first time we met each other, we both said to ourselves, “This is the person I’m going to marry someday.” She moved into another of the Churches Christian houses.

I left for a while to go to what is called a Christian Boot Camp in Lindale, Texas. Agape Force, where I continued to hear, what I now call a lot of maybe very well intended stuff, which I now call legalistic bs. The exercise part was good. But near the end, the Sunday Preacher had a sermon that scared some people. It was like this, “Oh there is someone here who is so stubborn, that you will never get my message.” Meaning that person would never find God. I thought it was me, and this Lumber Jack guy thought it was him.

Agape Force had on sermon on paying back the people you have harmed in one way or the other. A.A. has the same kind of message. Over all, there can’t be too much wrong with that kind of message. Though when I did get married, my now X said she was sorry, and thank you, so much, that it drove me mad. It was just the way she was brought up though. Right Now, I see how that message could apply to America, and the Native Americans. Lots of Nations could do the same damn thing.

From Lindale Texas, I caught a ride all the way to New Jersey, from a known Christian singing couple, who were at Agape Force too. We drove all the way across and up the coast, so I can now say, “I’ve been in all but 3 of the Connected States,
all but Arkansas, (Which I’ve seen from Memphis) Oklahoma and Florida.” This is a very Beautiful Land. Now, I seem to wonder about America’s beauty, and the wonderful thing called life, as somehow being mistaken for America can do no wrong. I hope you know what I mean!

Chapter 3

Back in Massatack, I caught a job with Tony’s Electrical Services, who my brother had worked with before his trip out west to find the truth. We did Electrical work on Super Markets. Nice work if you can get it.

At that time, I did see one female friend, who was living with an old buddy of mine. She knew my story, and took one look in my eyes and said I believe. The one person I ever lead to the Lamb, and I didn’t have to say a word too. She now still sings at Christian Coffee Houses and even does Church Plays sometimes. There is a popular Country Music singer by her same name. lol I even called her up when I read in the paper her namesake was getting bigger all the time. lol

When I flew my way back out west, things had changed. Me and my Brother’s Family didn’t even have time to hang out at the house. They had disbanded the Christian houses on account of the Church moving in a different direction. Lots of people had got married, and were raising Families. He drove me straight to a house some of the people I worked with were living. Those people told me, “This isn’t a “Christian House” anymore. I wondered about that since we all claimed to be born again.

Well hell, it wasn’t long after that that I bought my first good Pool Cue. I played cheap at Daisy’s in Cotati, which may be the smallest City in the world, and is just north of Petaluma. The owner was way too good, for me to even play 2 dollar 8-ball with, but I did anyways. Oh, but did that little city know how to Rock and Roll, like it still does today. After ended up playing down in San Rafael, and having just enough cash left for the bus, which was waiting to take me north, I thought it was time to head back east.

I drove my Bosses little white pickup with my 300 pound tool box, to the Bus Station. I left a note at the house that, the keys were under the seat at the Bus Stop. I’d had sworn, I would never take a Greyhound all that way again. Some where on that trip, I did pick up some Window-Pain, which I never got the chance to take, having missed-placed it.

After getting back there were Christian girls around town. I liked one of them a lot, but I was told she had lots of boy friends. Another one, I heard, had always had a crush on me, but I thought it was here sister, who I liked more. All of us did have some conversations about these being the last days that the Lamb, and other prophets had predicted would come.

Oh, there was talk of out west of the end-times too. None of us on either coast had a clue as to what to do about them. All I remember thinking when the subject came up, was of White Horses flying out of the sky to pick up, “His Saved.”

It was around that time I said to God, “We will see you sometime when I forget every thing I had read the last 2 years.” I had taken a vow to myself around that time that I was going to fight sin in my life. I hadn’t been drinking or smoking at that time. But I knew you shouldn’t take a vow, unless you meant to keep it. So since I couldn’t do anything about my lack of faith, I said the hell with Christianity.

That took about 6 months of being back east and doing Electrical Work with T.E.S. My Christian ways bugged the Man I worked with. I would get picky of how he billed the Super Markets we traveled to in one of Toney’s Van’s. He just told me to keep spinning my screw-driver.

It was around the time John Lennon got shot. (I was watching Monday night Football with my Pool Playing Brother John) We had a really sad day listening to Lennon’s album which he had just released. My work partner was a fan of Pat Benetar, which sounded like real hard rock to me then. “Love is a Battlefield” is where he said it was at. I agree with him now. The Man was in Boston when he heard “The Boss” was coming to the Boston Garden. He drove to Lowell to get money and his car, and drove back to wait in line. Another song I thought was too heavy for me at the time was, “Running with the Devil.” He was real happy when I finally loosened up. We could drive home with a beer in our hands, and we both thought that was cool. One week after working 60 hours, we both were scheduled to do a shut down on a Saturday Night. I called to see if I could get out of it, and the Forman said no way, so I quit.

A few of us TES, still studied for our Journey Man’s License togther. Since I was out of work, I was able to study 40 hours a week. When we got together at night to go over the old test questions, which they were having trouble with, they both said I was going to ace the test. It turned out to be the easiest test I ever saw. I passed, and both of them failed, while I considered them two, much better Electricians than I.

Chapter 4

I caught a job 15 minutes down the highway after getting my Electrical Ticket. No sooner had I got the job, the Union started organizing the shop. What a piece of luck. The deal from the Union was that if you vote for them, win or lose the vote, the Union would take us in. We lost the vote by one vote, and the Union sent all the losers up to the Seabrook Nuclear Power Plant up on the border of Massatack and Cow Hamshire. This was right around the time of the Solidarity movement over in Poland.

It was a 60 mile drive, but working second shift made it a piece of cake, for an 8 dollar an hour raise, plus benefits. It wasn’t bad work, doing all the temporary lights for all the concrete pours going on. I even got to work on the foundation of the largest crane in the world at that time. I even climbed half way up it until I couldn’t go any higher, but my partner went all the way to the top. It was higher than the Stature of Liberty, and its arm was longer than a 747. That cranes sole purpose was to lift the steel dome of the containment area on top of the reactor. After 4 months of that commute I figured it was time to get work closer to home or move up to the beach. I gave my 2 week notice, which might be un-heard of on a Union Construction Job.

I quit my second Union Job too, though this one lasted 6 months. I didn’t give my notice this time. I had ended up be partnered with a young man who was jealous of how I got in I.B.E.W. #588. He was a pain in the ass to work with, so I didn’t show up for 2 weeks, after the Forman called and asked if I was coming back to work, or to pick up my tools?

Around this time, I saw a man at the Old Oaken Bucket who was from my last non-union job ever. He was surprised the Union kept it word in taking us all in the Local. Oh, the owner of that shop had fed us an hour of more bs in one place than I had ever heard about anything anywhere. All I remember from that hour was that the Union had 4 books, and you know what one you will end up on. I gave the Man from the Bucket the phone number of my Business Agent. They won this time.
The Bucket being only 2 miles from home made it a safe stop to drink until my belly was full. Around that time lots of people would say, “How come all of us keep ending up here after work, when we all work all over this State of confusion?” I would say lots of us came to see the Owner’s son’s wife Ellen. I put enough quarters in Pac Man over a years time to at least buy the Machine. It was there 1982 though, that I heard a man talk of religion, by saying “Oh I’m sure I’m way passed salvation.” I agreed with him about myself.

Then my next Job I damn near got killed, and may have even been dead for a few minutes. It was the end of the day. Me and the Boss had all but finished a 277 volt lighting remodel of offices at this 20 story Bank we were at. He wanted to tie in the hot so we could be done. I told him, “Lets do that in the morning since the circuit breakers where right near our Gang Boxes.” He wanted it done, so I went up on the 6 foot ladder to do it. I had one hand one the EMT Pipe coming into the 4 square box. Then while trying to make the splice, my fingers were on the insulation, but my thumb went right into the head of the wire. I remember saying “Why is this happening? Since I couldn’t let go, and all I could see was my fingers on the insulation. My Boss would tell me years latter he thought it was his fault, and that he thought I was gone, seeing me shake around on the floor having a seizure. I woke up on the stretcher when the sun hit me, as we reached the outside of the Bank. I said, “I’m OK” and they told me to stay down. At the Hospital where they x-rayed me, I had to move my whole body left and right for them to take a picture of both sides of my neck. “That was one way to get out of working the 4th of July”, my apprentice told me. Ya, I did workman’s comp for 2 weeks, and than decided to go back to work, even though that first day back I had some mean head-aches.

Well, at the Avalon where both me and my pool playing brother had been playing pool, I could still run a rack with the neck brace off, I figured it was time to go back to work. Though I got some good advice from a Drinker from the Old Oaken Bucket, he told me, “You have got to go see a Chiropractor.” That Doctor told me I had had quite a fall.

What really got to me though was this: I had this memory in my head of a white throne, there is no other way to state it.-I use to ask myself, “Where did that come from?” I figured I had done that un-forgivable sin I had heard of from my readings and things from my time with the Born Again Church. I mean I would be taking hole-saws from the job at the bank saying, “Why in the World should I worry about this? I’m going to hell. It was a memory that looked like Lincoln down in D.C. at his Memorial. With something like a body laying before a white throne with the words remembered, "That's you."

Chapter 5

I wasn’t too bad of a bar room 8-ball player around the early 80’s. I won one week-night tournament my first time there, and a man who came to be a friend told me you are a player. He took me up to Saint Joe’s Club in Fitchburg where they played straight pool, and took 10 bucks from me, by playing better safes than me to 75 points. I ran 28 all 3 games, but he played much smarter than me, even though he never ran more than 14. I joined the Saint Joe’s Club that day.

I had been playing in a Partner’s League at the Avalon, along with other Bar Pool, most every other night of the week. My Pool playing Brother and his partner won the first one, while I got in half way through the 16 weeks and finished 4th. Next one I got in at the start and me and my partner won, while my pool playing brother finished second. That was a good $450 score, though my Boss told me around that time, “You know you have missed the day after, for the last two months?”

It was the Inner Game of Tennis, by Timothy Galeway that kept me focused. Galeway’s words of non-judgmental awareness are the most important words I’ve ever heard. I applied it to pool by just focusing on which side, and how close the shots I missed where, rather than saying it was a good or bad shot. Those words can keep you focused, and stop you from getting frustrated.

Somehow, down inside of me, I would say years latter. I was worshiping Dog, even though I thought I was going to burn in hell forever? Around that time was things about Dead Stroke in Billiards Digest. It was a great teaching tool for Pool. Every now and then I would catch that mystical stroke to run a rack. Oh, quite a few nights at the Avalon, people would compare my running out to Clint Eastwood in his early westerns. It never paid much money, though that isn’t what I was about.

I made friend with some ladies there. I kissed one after making a bank shot,. And we dated some. Seeing Conan the Barbarian was cool, but if I had a place of my own, I would have scored with her. That beauty I let slip away.

There was a 15 year old who could drink in bars at that time. I went over her house some, and she told me to say I was 22 to her Father, who was rich. She thought I would make something out of my Pool Game. Pool was always on my mind. 2 Beautiful Ladies I never got to do it with.

It was at the VFW in Littleton when I was hot on the table. Ronda, a Mohawk Indian was watching. I ask the Bar-maid a few days letter for her Phone Number. We went out to eat after calling her. I scored, but she said how I felt the next morning, “I don’t know if I even like you.” I moved in 2 weeks latter, saying to myself, “I am going to leave her better off than she is now.” I could, having told her the Union had made my life.
We lived over the Bar/Restaurant she worked at. I was just glad to get some every night. It gave me the desire to play more pool. I played in the Fitcburg 14.1 city tournament and even qualified for the A division, where I won every lag, and lost every game. Ronda couldn’t stand it that I hung out at the Bar down stairs, after coming home a loser. I got some big time experience by playing some real Gentlemen who knew the game well. Some of them had run over 100 balls. One did to me by breaking at 95 and making 5 balls on the break.

Ronda was a lot of fun at times, and so was I.. My biggest bitch about her was that she would always say one more drink, which meant about 5 more. I still took out money to buy her Grand Ma’s trailer.” 2 weeks later she broke up with me. I could still have stayed in the front bedroom, but it was understandably tough, not sleeping together or talking much.

Chapter 6

At that time I had my longest Union Job ever, in my home town of Littleton. It was less than a mile from my Parents House. I was there from before the steel went up, to when it was all but done, doing the cable for the Computers. Over all, I was there for 19 months. It was something to work on a job from the ground up. It made me a true Journey Man Electrician.

I had joined the Massachusetts National Guard around that time from what I would say was listening to, to many commercials about serving our country. Though some of it was just to get in shape, after I threw a dart shaft, not the point towards people I knew at a table. An old friend walked up and was pissed that I threw a dart at his friend. I said inside, “I’m going to get in shape to take men like him on.”

I felt I had to do something for this Land. Summer Camp was kind of fun, driving up to upstate New York in a 5 ton truck in a convoy, that if you blew a tire, you could go off of the road, and fall straight down. Some people died that way. At 25 the old timers called me a young old timer. I had left a 20 dollar an hour job where I had just made Forman to join them.

Basic training was real basic. The marching 10 miles a day was the highlight. I set my sights on maxing the physical test at the end of AIT, which was for driving a truck. (I wanted some skill to fall back on) I was doing 80 push ups in the 3 minutes every morning. I pushed myself to the limit to max the 2 mile run. I did more sit ups at the test, then I had ever don before. But after the Man judging my pushups said I only did 58 pushups. I was disappointed I didn’t max the test.

It was F Company I ended up at. They, in the early 70’s were people who joined the Guard to avoid going to Nam. They use to wear all kinds of uniforms, with long hair. There was a bar at the Amory that had a pool table in it. There is where the Men of the Motor Pool found out what I was about. They had no clue why a Man would have left a Union Job to join the Guard.

Well some more of that is that I had been throwing darts after hours at the Bucket. I lost 40 bucks to a man there. I was pissed and ended up driving through the light in Littleton with a head light out. I saw the cop afterwards and pulled over almost before he turned the blues lights on. At least at that time, they left the car on the side of the road, so I didn’t have to pay the towing charge. It being 4 o’clock in the morning, there was no way I could beat the charge. At least it was only for 30 days, and I got my license back for AIT, which was for driving a truck.

Well, I never turned out to be a 100 ball runner as I was always dreaming of. Though in my first Worcester County 9 Ball event I entered, I drew Boston Shorty, and beat him 7 to 6. I hate to mention that I lost my next match 7 to nothing. I got nocked out of the double elimination Tournament 7 to 6 in my next match. A kid I played with a lot, had recently just beat Shorty to finish second in the same place a month before. Someone took my picture saying I had just beat the World Champ. I talked to some people who would have just been happy to beat Shorty at flipping coins.

I did play in Lynn, the city of sin, where you never come out the way that you came in. That was against my Pool Playing Brother. He said you had better never go to Lynn. It was a double elimination 8 ball tournament a friend took me to once. All I could ever do in it on Sundays over 2 years was finish second. My Pool Playing Brother does have one trophy from there, while I was out west. Many, would say that is quite an accomplishment for 2 small town pool players. Years later, a top player who wrote about he New England Pool Game, had said, “There are not 2 Brothers who can beat hem two Deweys in New England.” I’ll say right now, “There is only one set of brothers who would have a chance.”-Cousins of the kid who beat Shorty before me. Oh, and to have 2 young Men beat Shorty, from the Saint Joe’s Club in Fitchburg was something.

Oh, I ended up heartbroken from having bought Ronda a Trailer. I could just barley make it to work. Lots of that was from losing 3,000 bucks, to make her life better. She offered to pay me back about 50 dollars a week. I should have settled for that instead of saying, “Don’t bother if you can’t pay me 500 at a time.

Chapter 7

The day before my birthday in December of 1985, the lady from California called me on the phone. I told myself right away I was going to marry her. I figured she might be my only source of redemption. She gave me the felling that I still might be able to get saved. We talked on the phone for hours after that call, and we both wrote letters, back across this land. She came to visit me in June. We got married 2 weeks latter on the deck of my Parents house. In the back of mind was having the California air to help my Pool Game.

(It was the year the shuttle blew up. I had been in the room with my pool playing brother. I was sitting next to the TV so I couldn’t see it. I voice said to me, or it was a thought of mine, “What would you do if he says it blew up?” And than he said, “I think it blew up.")

Though we had done some rescay stuff on the road, I knew I had made a mistake by the time we drove across the Missisipi River. Even though she was giving me some head as we crossed the Bridge heading to St. Louise. It was mainly about these allergies to food that made ordering something at a restaurant almost impossible.

We met her Parents in Colorado, where one of her brothers was stationed in the Army. We did have the best day of my life seeing all the sights around Colorado Springs. The 7 falls, a cog ride up the mountain, and the next day we took a ride up Pike’s Peak on a train with her Parents. On our way to California, following her Parents Mobile Home, we did see a cool sight in Nevada, a big pile of sand, like the Pyramids in Egypt. How that pile of sand got there, is beyond reason.

We stayed in Petaluma at my X’S Grandma’s. Her Grand Father had died years before, so it seemed like a good set up to me, since I had no clue how the Union work was around there. (I’m glad to say, I had met her Grand Father at the front door of where we were staying.)

I turned down my first job offer from the San Francisco Local, #6 IBEW. (I had to finish a job from a Church friend., from of old.) Luckily, that Local had work for a while. I remember saying to myself at breakfast in the city, “I’m working in the City.”

It was cool to find another Pool Nut on one of those jobs. He was on the road too, from Illinois. He turned me on to some good pool tournaments. Latter, we ended up on a Navy Hospital out of the Vallejo Local, IBEW # 180 I believe. It was good pay but they had fun knocking a green J.W. out on the road for the first time. For reasons unknown to me my pool game didn’t take off like I thought it would.

There was a great Pool Room 15 miles north of where we were staying. For some reason though I would miss more 8 and 9 balls, than I ever remember missing in my life. I would play my heart out and lose 7 to 5 in a race to 7, while totally out playing the Man. I still felt I had potential though when that Man finished second to Kim Davenport in a 9-ball even in Sacramento.

Being a member of the Elks Club though, did pick my game up some. It was a long ride to Vallejo, but there at the Elks I saw how “3 cushion billiards” was played and played well. Besides Jay Bozeman who was in a book about the game that I had read about an old timer of the game, there were 2 Men from Egypt who just made billiard after billiard. I called them Billiard Machines. Some people I met latter in life, would call them GODS because their game is so far above most people’s ability. Though the average Elks Club Player would say, “What is it about this game that just gets you hooked”

I would put the reason I finished 13th in a Pro Am in Reno, on my having seen 3-cushion played at its best. This may be odd for a pool player, but the 3-cushion stroke loosened me up to where I could stroke the long shots with confidence.

The Pool Room I played at, had an old time house man who has been around. Rumor was that if you could run 50 balls on them tables, you were doing something. My best was a real clean 33. Though I did beat the house man Ed in a 150 point game.

My wife at the time thought I was leaving her, after work slowed down. I had work back in Massatack, so couldn’t hang out west to long. I had bought a 1994 T-bird, which had taken miles off of my work commute. Oh, was that easier to drive than the 4 speed 81 Escort that couldn’t get out of its own way.

We did go see Arlo Guthrie up in Santa Rosa. He said he wasn’t going to do is new stuff tonight. He spent most of it talking and doing some story about giant clams. I saw him walking around the stage smoother than silk, and said to myself, “What is different about him.” I was astounded at him. At the end of the show Arlo said, “There is someone here who is really going to need these 2 tapes of mine, Someday, and the Power of love. I don’t want to tell you to buy them. But I don’t know how else you will get them. You will really need them someday.” I said to myself, “That’s me.” And I was amazed at the beauty of them both. I would always say to my future X, “Do you hear these words?”

She had 6 months of Nursing School left, but still thought I was leaving her. She never did understand how Union Electricians work at all. I mean, my home local was in Massatack, and there was work back there. Of course I stopped at every bar and pool room I could find on the way back. I got cleaned out one night in Kansas City, playing a ring game that was stacked against me though I was up over a hundred at one point during the night. They made sure to tell me to come back next time through, for they would be there.

It was nice to be back working in my home local of 588 IBEW. Those letters stand for I’ve Been Every Where and I’m Broke Every Week. My first job back was with the first foreman I quit. He said there wouldn’t be a third time. I told him I had a job 5 minutes from my house and was sorry it had to be that way.

My future X had a tough time staying strong in Nursing School. I had to give her all the support I could. She had thought I was leaving her. We just couldn’t afford for me to ride “Book 2” out west at the Union Halls, hoping to catch a job, when I could work in IBEW 588, my Home Local.

Chapter 8

I knew I was a Condo Person who doesn’t like cutting the grass or fixing up the place. I started looking right away. When I walked into the Abbey Road Condo in a city I pronounce and spell Lemon-Minister (Leominster) I knew I wanted it right away. It didn’t hurt that Forty’s Club, where I won a partners 8 Ball Tournament years earlier, was right down the street. The condo was on the first floor and had a deck facing the courtyard. It was 1000 square feet with one and a half baths. It was the last one left of 24 in the first building with 2 more on and under construction. The Real Estate Man had told me they named it Abbey Road hoping someone special would move in. He said that was me. That didn’t mean a thing to me at that time…Luckily the Real Estate agent liked us. The Bank didn’t want to give us the loan. It took almost 3 months, when finally the agent was playing golf with the loan manager…

It was cool to get the down payment out of 588’s annuity fund for $8,000 on 8-8-88. I said to myself “someone up there most be looking out for me.” It was Unit 103, and 588 was in the process of being amalgamated into 103. The International did that all over the country around that time. Many people would say it was a big mistake.

My first two months in my only real home to date was great. I was banking my check, by winning lots of cash at Forty’s Club. Though it took my future X’S bonus to by a TV and a couch. We did eventually have it nicely furnished. We had a round oak butcher block kitchen table, and chairs with an oak coffer table and night stands. Cable was even hooked up after 4 months. To bad they didn’t get to finish the other 2 buildings because after a year the Condo was worth half of what we paid for it which was probably what it should have sold at in the first place.
It was around that time that Russia fell. I was saying to a Pool Friend of mine, “That’s cool; we can take apart the bomb.” “Ya” he said, we don’t have anymore enemies.” It is sad to see, that the Bomb never got taken apart. Even if that wall in Berlin got taken down. Who is in control of those events? I would bet that we the people all want all the guns and bombs taken apart. I thought we the people are the authority. So why can’t we get our way?

We had some good and bad times. I didn’t mind her not taking the pill for we both figured that if we had a child it would be God’s will. She was afraid of my family though. I would say things like, “If you are a Christian (Which I wasn’t claiming to be) I don’t want to be one. She was a coward and always took here work home with her which wore me out. I even remember times driving home from work when I wished she wouldn’t be there. If she was, I would go to Forty’s Club.

Chapter 9

The best times were when I was out of work, which was always at least 4 months out of the year. There was a new Pool Room in town, which was opened by the other kid who had beat Boston Shorty. I worked there Friday and Saturday nights to keep me out of Forty’s. I won quite a few of his Nine Ball Tournament too. Some Man from Worcester who was pretty good told the Room Owner, “You have created a monster.”

There were Pool Rooms opening all over New England at that time, and I won my share of their killer B tournaments as they called them. The A’s didn’t like it because we would all be in stroke for the Week End Tournaments, and be able to knock some of the A’s out.

Right before the first Gulf War, I drove out to Rochester New York to sign the Book at the Union Hall. That night I won 2 Tournament in one night. I had had to spot everyone because they didn’t know me. When they said it was the 5 or 6 ball, I thought it meant the 5 or 6 and all the rest up to the Nine. In the Finals of the second one, I was down 5 -1 going to seven. A Man came up to me and said, “It isn’t all the balls. It is only that 5, 6, 7 or 8. A Man watching said he would have bet 1000 bucks I would come back after being down 5-1. Oh, got a good applause after I cut the last nine down into the corner pocket from up near the side.

The job I ended up on month latter was the best one ever. It was working 4 10 hour days and 2 8’s. There were Wirenuts from all over this land. I ended up rooming with two from Springfield, Massatack for 50 bucks a week total in a furnished Room not to bad a drive the job at Kodiak Park. The place they make film. It was all rigid pipe which can be tricky to cut and bend. The old-timer from Maine I got teamed up with knew all the tricks. He showed me how to thread and cut it first, and than bend it to fit.
We had some good discussions about how the war was all about money. Along with how the IBEW’s reciprocal process of sending all the benefits back to Home Locals was a real good thing. There were some things even Union Wirenuts would call Socialistic are even Communistic. I would speak up and call it Unionism.

I did put on 25 pounds in those 2 months in Rochester. I drank a lot of beer after work. (It was a bit too much, to try and play in that 9 ball tournament which was right around the corner from the room) It was one of those 4 Super Bowls that the Bills lost, but being so close to Buffalo I had to bet on them with the Bookie back home. I lost over a grand between 2 different Bookies. It took almost a month for me to clear it all up and some even came from a credit card. One Bookie even showed up at Forty’s Club looking for me.

Somewhere around that time my future X was on top of me trying to kiss me. I gave her this look worse than not now honey. I know it hurt her. Ah, but she knew all along I wasn’t in love with her. I figured from my religious background that marriage was for life and I was stuck with her.

I won a good share of the B-9-ball tournaments the next 6 months. And lots of the B’s., I would practice in Hudson in the afternoon, playing 3-cushion, which is my first love on the rectangled alter. Then go where ever the nightly 9-ball gig was in Massatack. In 5 months of that I had beat the best hustler in New England in his own room where no one beats him. The next week I beat the best Tournament player in N.E. to finish 7th and 8th in a 70 player field. That match is on tape somewhere. People said he had red chalk on his cue when he walked in, for not playing for 2 weeks. But I started of strong, and this was the 6th round. Luckily I broke in the 9 on the last brake. I started off strong though, and another strong player had told me, it looked like you might beat him the way you started out. I lost my next match 7-0. So much for another match with the hustler I had just beaten the week before. Oh, a strong player asked me if I was going to Connecticut to a huge tournament. He said you can’t win unless you play.
Chapter 10

I was looking at my wife’s breast around that time and knew she was pregnant. She said she was going back home to see her family. Since there wasn’t any work here for at least a year, I told her I would drive. We set our sights on making her Brother’s second wedding which was out in Washington. Half way out there I asked if she was pregnant and she did say she thought she was.

That wasn’t the only trip cross country I left her in the Motel Room while I went out looking for action in the bars. Even on our honeymoon I went to the bar in Pennsylvania at our room. I even told the bartender and one customer there my new bride was back in the room. That doesn’t take much of an imagination as to what they thought.-We did get the best corn on the cob I have ever had on that first trip west, from the Amish there in Pennsylvania, where we put our tent up for the night. It didn’t really matter that she wasn’t watching the bacon the next morning as it ended up fried black.

We made her Brother’s Wedding while I signed all the Union Books on the way. All I remember is her Brother’s Father-in-Law telling me, “America has to show the rest of the world how to do it right.” Now-a-day’s SINCE the second gulf war. I wonder if anyone ever will. Maybe we should all take a break and see what we can offer the rest of the world? I can think of quite a few things, starting with Unionism, but then the Corporations wouldn’t be getting the cheap labor in South East Asia, as they are now.

The future X was pregnant. The only work was in Seattle. She went south with her family while I hung around trying to get out. Oh, I did meet my best friend from the time I was 5 to 15, who had moved out there. We kind of split up after his little sister ended up with a kid I couldn’t stand. I met Loran in a pool town that had dried up by the time I got there. He had quit drinking so when I called him from the old pool hot spot, he said we could have breakfast the next morning. Besides him asking how good I was at pool, he said that 84 T-Bird looks like it has crossed this country. It was a great highway car.

I drifted down to my wife again, since it looked like the work was going to take me a while to get out. I won some tournaments, but it wasn’t even worth the pay. I stayed out late one night with the bar-tender at a club in town, I knew from earlier. He was the best player in town and gave me a cheap lesson in last pocket 8-ball. My future X wasn’t too happy that I got home as her Grandma woke up. I would have called but it was too late anyways.
After being there a few days it was clear there was no work at the Union’s there. I called Seattle, and they said I could have already been out. Luckily I didn’t loose my spot on the Book.
Chapter 11

I headed north as soon as I knew I could go right to work when I got up there. I got pulled over as I crossed the Washington Oregon border. The Cop thought I was driving funny. Luckily I hadn’t had a beer all night. He let me go right away when he saw my tools in the trunk. He said his kind just had to be sure no one was bringing guns from the south up north.

It was cloudy my first 2 weeks in Washington. From the Union Hall, you could see the waters to the north-west on a clear day. It was the second week until I asked myself, “Where did those beautiful mountains come from?”

I took the first job that came to me. I found a room in the same town as a Man I had loved to watch when he was down in Atlantic City for a Tournament. He stood up taller than pool players should, and wore a big white hat. Oh, I had seen him in Reno, and loved his style. I didn’t know he had lived in Washington until I got there. Sadly, we never once got to play at his room. That could have been good for my pocket-book, though there was no way I was going to play him for anything. This Man addresses the cue ball better than anyone I have ever seen. He pulls his cue so close the ball that most people would foul, by hitting the cue ball. If you try it, you better go real slowly!

I didn’t do much but drink in my rented room. It was shared with a Man who looked like a cousin of mine. I did say I would be there about 4 months. When my future X called up and said she wanted Scotty out of the Condo, I felt like drinking even more. Scotty was the owner of the Pool Room in Lemon-Minister. He was late on the first months rent, when the rent was a deal in it self. Somewhere in the back of my head I saw a partnership in a Pool Room so I let him slide some. I never meant to let him get over 2000 bucks behind.

I did win one Pool Tournament right near where I was working. Oh, and I was on a Sea-Times job. I thought it was a Sea Museum. I was one the job for a month, always asking myself, “Where are they going to put the fish tanks?” Really. It was a news Paper.

I did flunk my Washington Electricians test, and didn’t show up for work until another wire nut called me asking where I had been. I couldn’t have missed it by much, but I failed it. I appealed it with no good result. They didn’t seem to mind that my temporary license was no good. It was around that time I figured out what an Electrician does.-We run pipe and pull wire, unless we also have to dig a ditch, to put the pipe in.

I did checkout the Elks Club in Tacoma, which was a 30 mile ride from where I was. (Oh, I have put over 250 thousand miles on cars in local drives from my home to Pool rooms.) First time there I played Tom Ducharme, and crushed him our first game. Tom stood tall over the table, and I thought he had learned that from Jay Bozman, which is what Willie Hoppie had told Jay to do. It turns out Tom had come down with MS in his early 30’s or he would have been a Pro Bowler. A man who played 3-cushion with us has 13 sanctioned 300 games so I believe him. Tom, is the hottest shit you will have ever seen around any rectangled alter.

There was the Woodstock of 3-Cushion Billiard in Medford Oregon, coming up in the Fall, so I got my name in for it. It has been going on since before Kennedy got killed. Some players where there at the first one, while I was there my first time. I had heard of it while I was a newlywed and wasn’t going to miss this one. It has gotten over 100 players from all over the west coast, Illinois, Michigan and Pennsylvania.

It worked out good that I got layed off just in time to head south. I won the B’s which as a young player is something. You can only win it once, partly because they don’t want players to stay B’s. I got into one of the Men who ran it though. The B’s had to stop play, because everyone else was watching the A Finals. Someone even picked up a ball while the B game was going on. We decided to stop the game until the A Match was done. I won by 10 points and I would have given odds on that happening. All I got was an 8-Ball Trophy. I laid into the Man who had run the thing for years. At the Party Room which was rented by the players every year, he asked if I would be back the next year? So I guess I made my point. Tom Ducharme would agree with me too, for he knew the B’s didn’t get any respect there at all.

By the time I got south to my future X, nothing had gotten better between us. She was still complaining about how Scotty was so far behind in the rent of the Condo. I could understand that, but I was over 3 thousand miles away.

When I got back to Washington, Tom Ducharme put me up right away. Thank God, for it took almost 3 months to get out in Tacoma, which all Electrical wirenuts knew was going to break soon, and put out lots of men. I pushed Tom’s wife to the limit, and her 11 year old son pushed me to mine. They never complained about the 50 bucks a week for food that they had asked of me though.

When the Local did put out, a man who had been there for over a month with me said, “Let’s all go to this bar for a few drinks.” It was a bit early for me to do that but I went along. I’m glad I got teamed up with him on the job. His friends call him Irish, and when the crew showed up he said, “I’m working with Michael.” He has worked all over this Earth. When he was up in Alaska trying to get out on the pipelines, he brought a gun into the Union Hall because the B.A. had told him he wouldn’t be put out. He got a job on the pipeline.

From day one of that job, I kept hearing babble of lay-offs. I was sure there was at least 6 months of work so I couldn’t have cared at all. Though it got a bit tiring when you hear that same babble every morning. Especially since the ones doing the babbleling were the ones working every one out of a job.
It was cool when people from Rochester started showing up. We had wrote down all of our names, so we could keep up on where work was. Oh, if I wasn’t married I could have beded at least one of 2 female wirenuts there. I wasn’t like that though. I thought marriage was forever.

Oh, I did good to finish second in a qualifier for a bigger tournament. The man who beat me didn’t play any better than I had back in New England. Though I did drink more out west than back east. I did get degusted with my Pool Game though. Most of the Pool action around Washington was on the easiest bar tables I had ever seen. I guess it takes a mental toughness to play out, on even the easiest Tables.

My wife drove up with my daughter. I was so happy to the little kid. She smiled at me from the floor right away. It was love at first sight on my part, even if it didn’t stop my drinking which I feel sick about even writing about here. I should be free. Though I should have known my marriage was almost history, since I slept on the couch for almost a year.

It was a bitch since Scotty who I thought was a friend of mine, was always late on the rent in the condo. It cost me lots of mental anguish. And I’ll mention all the months’ mortgages I put on credit cards. THEY gave me way too much credit. Somehow, I had a vision of being partners in a Pool Room.

We were there at the time of the 92 election. I loved seeing Jerry Brown run his grass-roots campaign on C-span. He was the man for our times in my mind. I had loved seeing Jerry throw the tax code in the trash. He could have made a real difference in who ran this land.

Chapter 12

Work slowed down so I knew it was time to kick the scum-bags out of our condo, and head back east. I drove one car back, stopping at every pool table along the way. Then I flew back on one end of a 2 way ticket. Then I pulled a trailer with the second car, so the Family could fly back. The Condo’s carpet was a mess, and we had even left a vacuum cleaner. Luckily a Man who worked at Scotty’s Pool Room cleaned carpets or my future X would never had moved back in. I find it a little bit funny, my first job back was in Swampscott. That joke shouldn’t have to be explained.

It was 1993 and I felt like I was home at last. Even if Rich Banks, who I beat out of drink after drink at Forty’s Club, wouldn’t agree with a 4 day work week being better than what we had now. I tried to force it down Rich Banks thought that I never would have had to go out west if the Local Union #103 had only enforced its own rules. THEY, had it written that when 500 Man are out of work, it would be a 4 day work week. I punched a wall in Forty’s Club’s bathroom I was so frustrated with Rich Banks. I woke up the next morning and fainted, my right hand hurt so much.

My future X thought I was getting violent so after being back for only 2 months, she decided to take a trip west again to see her Grand Ma. She said I had always had a beer in my hand. Well I can say, “Those were some of the best beers I had had in years.”
After she was out there for 2 weeks, she said she was going to spend the summer.

I begged her on the phone to come back and see if we could work it out. The cops even showed up at the Condo, while I was yelling at her to myself, that she couldn’t take my daughter away like she did. I retired my pool cue for almost 8 months. I broke free on New Years Eve, when I told her I wanted a divorce.
Chapter 13

It had been real cool to have played, in a Partners Tournament, with who I call a gypsy lady. We got our name in the Clinton Paper for finishing second. What was even cooler was that we spent some time at the Condo making whoopee. She was cool, but I set my eyes on more and better ladies, for she did make me feel as if I could get any lady in town.

Around that time this cute little blonde bar-tender called Carol came into my mind. I asked one of the bar-maids when Carol worked. The barmaid told me Little Carol only worked Sunday afternoons. By mistake, I had left my 500 dollar pool cue at the bar the Saturday night before, without the case.-The case had made it home. It was that night people said they were concerned about my altitude. I was so hot that night I could have played blind folded. I was making shots and running the racks even being way over my limit of alcohol. I stayed up until 5 messing with my P.C. and finishing all the Beer in the Condo, for I didn’t want any beer there when I woke up. I had decided to take some time off from the Beer.

When I got up I checked my Pool Case, and there was no cue. (Oh it was a beautiful brown leather case that was a little beat up. Which I got lots of compliments on) I went in with a coke from the store, asking if my cue was anywhere to be found. Thankfully it was there. After going back home where Joe was, who was helping me learn my new PC, we went back to play some 8-ball. Like I said, I had been on fire the night before, but Joe beat me, which must have made Carol think I was drunk. (That is only speculation though. Only Carol knows for sure.)

Forty’s Club had some great Italian meatballs at that time, so I asked if I could get some. Turns out the kitchen was closed though the cook was there that day. Joe left asking me to come up to his place and play pool latter. Why I would leave that bar with Carol Tending it and almost no crowd, is beyond my Imagination. As I walked out, there was this still small voice saying, “Michael I made you some breakfast.” I never looked back but just shrugged my shoulders and walked out.

That, for some reason brought back memories of when I had come to Forty’s Club and told Carol my X had just left for 2 weeks and wasn’t coming back. Carol said, “I can’t cook.” The Man next to me said, “Did you here what she said?” At the time I just shook my head in wonder. Though, a year latter the thought ran through my mind. My, my my!

It was a year earlier when I had told a future team-mate of mine that I wanted to be called Admiral, since my last name was Dewey. He had told me that wouldn’t fly in here. Around that time I had said, “I want to see Pink Floyds video of Time. That song goes “Kicking around on a piece of ground, waiting for some little something to show you the way.”

Chapter 14

In the process of the next year, when I did find my way to the table, people said, “We are glad to see you playing again.” I credit the klick at Forty’s Club for helping me get over my daughter having been taken 3000 miles away. My position at pool was right on. I figured after getting it together with Carol. I would hit the 9-ball tournaments again and do some damage to some of the A players.

Little Carol gave me this huge smile from the cash machine towards me. I had brought in pictures of my 4 year old daughter. I knew Little Carol would be there, for I had stopped in after work… I said, “If Carol is working tonight. I’m going home to take a shower. Little Carol loved the pictures of my daughter and said, “If I ever had a daughter, I wished she would look just like her. She looks so happy.” I thought those words were real cool, because “I” had never been happier in my life too. I will always regret not asking her out right then, for it got real tough for me to ever get close to her, in the following months.

The rat showed up at the worse possible time. I was more interested in talking to Carol than playing him for 5 or 10 bucks. One Saturday night, he didn’t understand the ball in hand rule. Still, he took 10 bucks from me. But the rumors had spread to Carol. The rat went beserk when I took his scatch, and made an 8-ball. The Rat to this day claims he didn’t mean ball in hand on the 8 ball.-that way would make for some silly shots.

After playing Bruce Springsteen’s “Wendy we were born to run”, Wendy did show up at a cool time. I had seen her play in a Worcester League the year before. Wendy is the smoothest lady 8-ball player you will ever see short of the pros. Since Carol hadn’t worked out yet, I ask Wendy to Dinner. She said her name was in the book. I’m still pissed I didn’t just take her home, when Wendy said at the end of the night, “I don’t want to wait.” Wendy had just broken up with here Man, and was wearing black and blue cloths. She had said “I wear those white and blue colors I had on well.”

It was months latter when her team beat ours, that she said, “You could have called.” I said “I know.” She said “Far Out”, for she knew I was set on Carol. What I’m still pissed about is that my captain didn’t put me up against Wendy, when he could have.
I got my second loss ever in the APA league by being beaten by a 2, while I had to go to 6.

Wendy did confuse some things with Carol. Bruno did tell me one night, “Don’t go anywhere.” Then he went out to the phone… Carol showed up 5 minutes after that.
Chapter 15

At that time I was waking up singing, knowing a beauty was on my way. It was Easter Sunday, when I was told the night before Forty’s Club wouldn’t open until 6:pm. I saw Carol’s X, and after telling him I had wanted to bring her flowers, he gave me her work address. I sent her 12 roses, and 6 Irises, with a note saying, “You are the most wonderful and beautiful Lady I have ever met. If I don’t hear from you all week, I hope you have a great week.” (Though, I sure was hoping to hear from her!!!)

She totally avoided me the next Sunday at the Club. I was hurt, and all I could do was write her saying, “Did you get them Flowers? Her X almost got killed the next week, so I could understand why she didn’t say anything. Boy did things get complicated by her X’s near death, while I also had Wendy waiting in the wings.

It was after she was with her X at Forty’s Club 3 weeks latter, that I just barely hit the cue ball, which was the funniest foul on a pool table I ever remember making. She saw it, and came over saying, “Michael, I want to thank you for those flowers.” She sat down next to me and said, “They were the most beautiful flowers I had ever gotten.” And “I have gotten flowers before.” I was really pissed that the Captain of my Pool Team, who I was playing, wouldn’t take his eyes off of us. I told her I had meant to bring the Flowers Easter Sunday, while she was working, but the owners jerk son said they wouldn’t be open until 6:pm. Carol said “Jimmy was a ball-buster.” Well, some people called him 20 for being half the Man 40 was, or 80, for being twice the jerk. (And Forty had been a jerk to me for thinking my pool playing was hustling his customers. They all use to love watching me play. But in the Spring of 1994, I was starting to get along with Forty)

Somehow, I ended up next to Carol, while she was standing next to Bruno and speaking to him, about how girls can do things about an un-wanted child. And he had just joined the group of being an un-wedded father. Little Carol talked about things women could do about not getting pregnant. She was talking about all kinds of wonderful stuff, which was meant for me. Bruno told me while she was “talking to you so just keep listening to this.” And as she left that night with her X. Bruno said to her, “Are you sure you don’t want to see his palace for yourself.” And Carol said, “Just remember that that source.” which had to have come from my neighbor.” At that point I was always doing what I could to keep the Condo clean, even if it did mean for me to empty the ash trays after every butt while my neighbor was over.

I called Carol from work the next morning. I asked her out, and she said it was complicated, so I said ok, can I call you at home, she said that was complicated too, so I said “ok”, and hung up. That night there was a party at another Club, and she was there. I walked up to her and her X and said, what is happening? Carol told me to take my trash out of here. In a tone of voice her X said he had never heard before. I went back to my car, and my heart broke as I was getting in it. Only I didn’t die. I did hear her X say, “He is only trying to make friends.”-Before I had left the place.

I went in to Forty’s Club, that next Sunday, and Little Carol tried to tell me that it was complicated. She told me she took care of her X’s mother and I said, “Oh that’s nice.” That might have been the day she left screaming, “He ain’t working here tonight.”-In a tone of voice I had only heard once before.

At that time I do recall 6 months before, that Little Carol had pointed here finger at me and telling me to come over by her. Carol was surrounded by her friends. All I could say was “You know you can only beat your head up against a brick wall for so long.” I was talking about my X, but also implying her X. She said, “I know that Michael.”

Back to the spring of 94 it seemed to me, the only way I could get into where she was at, was to write her at her other work place. That didn’t help at all. She never replied.
Chapter 16

I was sure the love of my life was right in my grasps. I guess now that hanging around a barroom, where I played pool wasn’t the best place for that to happen, though it could have been for a pool fan. Part of the problem was surly that she was raising a 9 year old son of her own.

Little Carol got real pissed one time when she heard I had broken a window at the Twin’s Café. I had walked in there after Carol had said something like, “I don’t do checks” Which I had no idea what she was talking about. The barmaid at Twin’s thought I had been doing coke in the bathroom, when in fact I was crying about what Carol had just said to me. A man had seen me crying and asked how I was. To bad he went back to the barmaid about how he thought I was. After the barmaid wouldn’t give my money back for my draft beer I slammed the window as I got in my car.
Chapter 17

(Oh, that was the time when the jukebox took a life of its own. I’m sure I had heard Neil Young’s Hurricane before. But I never remembered hearing where I had seen Little Carol in a crazy hazy bar called the Old Oaken Bucket. It was there I remembered saying Little Carol would make a wonderful wife someday. I was never in the right condition to ask her out though. I told others how I felt and they did say I should try. I just couldn’t get around to it, though I did dance with her one night, while I was totally under the whether.)

I wrote another letter to her, wishing I could talk to her up on some mountain, or at Littleton Common. It started like this, “Oh what I wouldn’t do do (Which was the name of the Flower Store.) for a couple more shots of you, Even if they do turn out blue.
It was my first real attempt at poetry. As I did hear Forty try to tell her from my side of the bar.

Though People said that that explained my video of Pink Floyd’s “Time”, while the people kept saying everything over the last year you have said, makes sense now.

Around that time, I had never been happier. I had just heard of the Mondragon Cooperative of the Basque in Northern Spain, and saw right away how Unions could make that Worker Ownership work here in the States. I figured it would be a piece of cake when the powers to be saw a happy couple like what I and Little Carol almost were.

Then I got the shock of my life. After Carol had played some mean mind games on me. She had got off work on time. Bruno beat me out of 2 bucks, so I had to go over to where Carol and another lady were, so I could pay him. Carol jumped up to play the other woman. I, by my stupidity, could only ask to play partners with her, here friend, and me and Bruno. She wouldn’t bite on that preposition

Little Carol did end up at the bar after she and her friend had played. I kept moving down inch by inch to get closer to her. Stool to stool. She noticed that. Finally while she was right next to me, she went to grab her pocket book. I moved my foot some, while she pulled the strap right up to the middle of my legs. No one else would have given her pocket book back so fast. I had her money right by my jewels. Though, after she smiled big time, while putting her hand on my shoulder. All I could do was give here pocket book back, without even a fight. Her pocket book strap pulled tight on my groin. Right now it reminds me of a donkey who won’t move while a Cowboy pulls on the reigns.

{Around that time I told everyone at Forty’s Club that I was waking up dancing. CMT was on all night while I was sleeping in the other room. Though this is a complete change of subject, I had always asked, “Why do I think that Arlo Guthrie is behind this music on CMT?” Most of the music just seemed to dream of a better day. Which is not here yet, so we all better find a way that brings us all together. I would love to find a way to wake up dancing again but we have some problems to solve. Most of that cash that is needed to take care of our Cities and Towns problems are right on our streets called McDonalds, Burger Kings etc.}

Chapter 18

It was mother’s Day. I did get to play Arlo Guthrie’s All Over the World song for my Mother. She didn’t get the words that we-all, all over this world, must overcome, and learn to live as friends. My religious brother’s wife did say when she saw Arlo’s picture on the tape, “Why does he look familiar to me?” I could say now, but she surely knows the king of kings. No one else up there in the Music World is singing about letting the Prisoners free. (Though I for one, have heard Kathy Mattea sing, “I feel like All Creation is asking us to dance.”)

I had been getting along real well with that brother’s family. I had showed up with my own meat-sauce for dinner. They had a real cool piano book which I told them I was going to steal. The cover of the book from the early 1900’s said it was the most important book in a generation, “Key Board Attacks!” I learned, “Off We Go to Music Land” in less than a minute after my niece showed me how it was played. I thought the song about musically attacking while training fingers, ears, and eyes, was how I was going to attack this corrupt system of Government. It is a real simple song, and didn’t make me a genius on the piano. But I was pumped up about having some music ability. Just think about how Music was going to attack the powers to be?

Well the shock of my life didn’t come until the Thursday after Mother’s Day. I was watching CMT Like I always was. That is Country Music Television for those of you who don’t surf the dial of the TV. I had seen Little Texas sing this song many times before, and I had always sung it Rocking Down Angels from the Promised Land. A big light went on in my mind, “That is what happened. We all came down from above. Boy have we been told some trash about these last days. Then, another light went on, “Woe I’m Michael. I better never tell anyone this or they will think I am crazy.”

It was 4 days latter that I Man asked me out of the blue, if I had ever heard of the vision of Revelation 12, where a dragon dragged a third of the stars out of the heavens? I went to look it up, right away. And sure enough there is a woman with 12 stars on her head. I come from a family of 12 Deweys. My Mom had just told me I had taken 4 days to born, and the women was travailing to give birth. I WOULD SAY ANY BIRTH IS TRAVAILING. The child was caught up to God and his throne. I saw that throne years before, after getting knocked off of a ladder. You all had better add up my story, for the devil has gone off to wage war against my Family as Rev. 12:16 says. The Family holds to the Testimony of the Lamb. Think about those words about holding to the testimony of the Lamb.

Now, I had something very important to talk too little Carol about. I had still been sending letters with no response. That was making it impossible for me to talk to her ever Sunday afternoon. I saw in Carol a Lady that could help me get my daughter at least 5 months out of the year. Well at least for the summers. Oh, and my pool game after bedding Little Carol would have taken off like a rocket. My cue ball control was that tight, and with a beautiful woman by my side, I was going to be real tough to beat.

Through it all, it drove me insane that Little Carol wouldn’t answer any of my letters. Her non response built a wall I couldn’t tear down while she was on the other side of the bar.

There was a note on a napkin where Batting Zero was Rocking. 2 girls were standing in front of it. Those 2 girls asked me if I knew what it said, “There was an EYE to start it off. Then there was a heart, with an X and a musical note. I love country music is what they said it meant.” They gave it to me and left, though I had no clue as to where it came from.

It was weeks latter when I realized where the note had come from. It was 2 weeks after Carol had answered one of my letters. (I had written the week before I was sick of all her games.) She wrote a letter saying she was not interested and to let go. I cut my hand on her letter as I read it. I Beat the cut into every keyboard I could find. Little Carol asked me what I wanted when I walked into Forty’s Club that Sunday afternoon. (I mean it should have been clear that I walked into a bar to get a drink…) I played Steve Miller’s Big oh jet airliner which I had started to sing, “Big old Carolina.” With the words, “I’ve been down before.” Carol said, “Thank you.” I could only think, she meant those words for me. After I played some Pool, Carol said these words, “I am crazy.” Those words didn’t mean I was but that she was.

I told her around quarter to 6 when her shift ended, and while the Club was empty. “Carol” I said, “I cut myself on your letter. I’ve been beating it into the keyboard all week long.” She said it looks like it hurt. Then she dragged Forty from the other corner of the Club, and told him well within ear shot of mine, “I am ready to move in with him right now.” Forty said, “Why are you telling me this. He is right there.” I left that napkin note as I walked out the door. Then, with my mind boiling about why she couldn’t talk to me, I walked out the door.

Friday night came along and though I was so happy about some things in my life, that I was sure, was on the way. Carol walked in and set right next to me. I was a little bummed-out at the time for having just been thrown out of Michael’s I thought it was cool Michael’s had just opened, for I had just found out who I was. Though I was confused how the owner wouldn’t give me a chance to me sit down, while having a drink. And maybe see what she was so worried about.

There she was, sitting right next to me on the busiest night in the last year. Paradise walked in and saw Carol sitting right next me so set down on my right, to see what was going on. Or rather just to be nosy. Paradise was the reason I had gotten thrown out of Michael’s And he was also the cause of an accident that almost killed Little Carol’s X. Needless to say he was a disturbance to both of us.

Little Carol was nice to talk to the Man on her left. She spoke up to Jim who was tending bar asking if her girlfriend had left, which she had. Little Carol put her hand around her back, down into her jeans, and if I had just touched those hands, 13 years of misery would have been avoided.

She got up after a while but the 10 bucks I had put in the Juke Box was still ruling the moment. While a Bruce Springsteen song came on she said, “He just keeps beating on my heart.”

I had quit a 5 or 10 dollar pool game to just sit down and talk to this lady. I said, “Oh I am tired of playing with the bumble bees. She said to the bartender who was Forty’s son, “I don’t care who he thinks he is. I think he is a real man.” And she was talking of me.

The next Sunday, after 4 months of trying to have a conversation with her, I got pissed and left a note, written in a Pamphlet called “Bits and Pieces.” In the same page where it said, “If only people knew how easy it would be to make this life fun it would all work out.” There was a picture of a hand putting a Queen down on a Chess Board. Then I wrote, “I think you are a stuck up American Cunt.”

That was after I had driven by her 3 times in her car flipping her, the bird for how she was dragging things out to insanity. Maybe that was because I wouldn’t tip her, because she wouldn’t talk to me but would to everyone else but me, or so I was starting to think

I had ended up being out of work which might have had something to do with her attitude towards me. She had no idea how Union Electrical Wirenuts get by. I had hopes of being a Para-Legal on un-employment. Some how she seemed to think that would be wrong. At least from what her X told me in Bruno’s presence.

It turned out to be a disturbing time. While I was playing Steve Miller’s Swingtown every chance I got, people started telling me what they thought was right for me.

It was scary how the videos on CMT were really paralleling my life. There was Dwight Yoakum’s “Try not to look so pretty. You are lovely but it is just cruel. It is about a love sick man sending flowers and letters to a lady. At the end, a manger of the Movie Theater tells him to get out. Dwight says, “Is it too much to ask for 5 minutes alone in the dark with her?” It was exactly how I was feeling about Carol. The few chances I did get, me or her would blow it.

After driving home from a weekend job down on the Cape, the DJ on the radio was talking about what the band America said their album was about. They said it was about Dewey getting laid right. The Man driving asked me which bar-maid I was having trouble with, since Dewey is my last name?

It was Lisa’s bar tending skills that kept pushing me in the right direction, which I would call Freedom. I had a button with a fishing line attached to it. I would connect it to a dollar bill and when the Bar-tender went to grab it, the button would snap it back to me. I would bring in a tennis ball to bang around the table. At one point, Lisa said, “You never know what he will pull out of his pocket next. It scared the hell out of me, when I went home and saw Dwight Yokum playing “Inside a pocket of a Clown.” Those kinds of coincidences were happening all the time.

Like after writing one letter which demanded a response from Little Carol. We ended up around 7:00 pm with the Juke Box playing the Beatles song, "She Gave Me No Reply.” (Almost like I had never heard the song before.) Little Carol had just walked back in, and she spoke up, “How does he do this?” Though I couldn’t get the nerve up to go and talk to her. That was from being hurt so much from her not answering a simple letter.

At that time I took a ride out to Chicago to see the Nationals of 3 Cushion. Carol’s X had told me not to go, and to lighten up on Little Carol. I had to get out of town, for I couldn’t get any peace any where I went. Lots of that was just in my head. But I wanted to see some old friends who would be in Chicago. Sang Lee from Korea was going to be there and I didn’t want to miss him. It didn’t help around town that I had just flipped her off 3 times in 10 minutes and than was stupid enough to leave that stuck up note in “Bits and Pieces” on Forty’s car.

Chapter 19

On the trip west I stopped at an out of the way American Legion in a town in Pennsylvania which isn’t even on the map. I was telling these 2 girls that I use to be Michael. I repeated myself 3 or 4 times, and the Man who welcomed me in said, “Do you know who he is? I went over and said, “Yes I am.” And he just bowed his head. A definite connection had been made. I got the Clubs address and said I would be in touch.

I drifted out into Ohio where I saw a sign for the Driftwood Inn on Lake Erie. I was watching the thunder and lightning on the lake, and said “I have just seen my second 4th of July fireworks alone in a month.”

It was cool to see people I had seen at 3 cushion tournaments out west. My mind was on getting back home though. I had left may spare set of keys to my Condo on Little Carol’s windshield wipers. I was sure hoping she would have moved in by the time I got back. It never accrued to me that maybe I should call and see if she was there.

While I was out on the road that trip, I saw a preacher on TV say that John Lennon was burning in hell for singing Imagine there is no heaven or hell. It did accrue to me that I had better never go to the big apple, for I had read of those 2 prophets who get killed in a great city in Revelation 11. When I man at a rest stop of the Pennsylvania Turnpike, told me 5 times, “Just don’t ever go to the Big Apple.” I knew what he meant and assured him that I would head north east from here, and I never would hit that Apple.

It didn’t help any when I got back to Lemon-Minister to get thrown out of 3 Bars in my safety zone, a zone including Forty’s Club which I felt safe driving home from in any condition.

I did leave a nasty letter in the New Papers laying on the door of 2 of those Clubs. Interesting the phone rang with no voice on the other end of the line. Minutes latter a knock came on my door. I looked through the peep hole and there was Little Carol holding a piece of paper. She rubbed her ear when my eyes saw her. She didn’t knock again, but I saw her head out. If only I had opened that door, we could have had that conversation I still desperately need to have 13 years latter.

So now I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I never wanted to follow her around. I figured all I could do was write her letters, hoping for some communication. She never wrote back. I had a very important story of my awakening to tell her. I wanted her to be the first to hear it. I know that some people in town knew it was true. It wasn’t their problem though. It was mine, and it was a big one. There was no way I could bring myself to go back into Forty’s Club. My mind was made up that she just had to answer a letter. I swore I was only after a little common courtesy. L

Little Carol’s X had just attacked me while I was walking out of the Gas Station with a hot dog he knocked to the ground. He told me not to write anymore letters for they were ruining Carol’s life. The next day I left my pool cue Forty’s Club front door. And I have never seen it again. Somehow, I was sure it would make a statement that I had to talk to her.

Chapter 20

It drove me out of town, where no one else could have known my story. That cost me my license to drive sober a few months latter. Then I was up shits creek with out a paddle.

The Para-Legal on un-employment didn’t work out for they said there were no jobs in that area of work. It pissed me off so I decided to run for the Senate against Kennedy and Romney. I thought I could do it all on my P.C. since I was connected to the internet. I figured that I could get Jerry Brown and Ross Perot behind what I wanted to do. I wrote every News Paper in Massatack but never got published. It was so clear to me that the Worker Ownership of the Mondragon Cooperative was the smaller GOVERNMENT this Land needed. There are some business cards I had made up saying how Electricity and Gas should be paying for most of our needs. And of course, Elect the Electrician, for do we or don’t we do for Dewey.

I won’t lie about how I still thought I was going to win. While I was listening to Arlo’s song Massachusetts at my Home, I had dreams of Electricity flying out of my hands and destroying all of the Senate.-Really. When I never even made the News Papers is when my emotional high of being the Prophet Michael came to and end. Even though I had been sleeping on the couch for 5 months, I always had hope that I would connect back up with the people in town who had taken me by their side before. There was nothing I had done that should have ever got in the way of my getting back into Forty’s Club.

All I ever asked Little Carol in my letters was if she would ever forgive me, so I could play pool at Forty’s Club again. No one ever had to be as alone as I ended up.

I took a Train into Boston to see Arlo Guthrie sing right around Thanks Giving of 1994. After my awakening of who I was that last spring, I had begun to wonder who Arlo could be. I had written him about my Senate Campaign and during the Concert he had said, “I would like to see a Politician run sometime who was going to do away with all the LAWS for all they do is make more criminals.

At the end of the show I was standing at the front of the Balcony as Arlo was walking of stage, and without missing a step turned his head around and eyeballed me for what seemed to be about 3 seconds. We both shook our heads and smiled. It was one of the coolest things ever to have happened to me.

I went home and wrote 3 postcards in yellow ink (To imply I was just trying to whisper.) to Little Carol. She turned these ones into the cops. THEY called to see if I would come to the station which I did the next day, and THEY told me no one wanted to talk to me. 3 days latter THEY show up at my do with a warrant for stalking.

At the Hospital, (I ended up at, mainly because the court appointed lawyer didn’t have time to read the letters, to see that there was nothing threatening in them.) THEY treated me as if I was guilty for a month. When there was nothing harmful in any of the letters. And THEY completely believed Little Carol’s lies, that she was never interested in me. It was a very disable-ling month. Being treated guilty while my mind was set on helping this land, with just a little help from Carol, was more than I could bare from that town.

The charges were dropped 3 months latter for there not being anything threatening in the letters. I showed up in a white suit, while Carol wore black. The judge asked her to come up and stand next to me as he dismissed the sentence. Many times I have wished I had asked the Judge for just a couple of minutes with her. But I couldn’t stand to look at her. She had just cost me my home, while I was sure the both of us could have fixed this sick world.

Its tough to say now if I could have worked as an Electrical Wirenut, even if THEY would let me drive sober. The memories of the last year were stinging me like little bumble bees. I could relate them to the thorns stuck in the Lambs head with the crown THEY gave him.

I moved my stuff out of the Abbey Road Condo, and moved back in to my Parents. That didn’t give me any emotional support either. All I got was complaints about how I hadn’t paid my cousin the 5 hundred for the car a bought from him. I mean, I had just lost my Condo and all they could do was bitch at me about something I didn’t have anyways. It made me think about the money Scotty owed me. I decided to forgive his debt. Then they bitched at me for that too. It was like turning the other cheek and going the extra mile for someone. Oh, but I had also hoped Little Carol would have heard about it, and maybe do the same for me.

Chapter 21

Walter, who I had played basketball with back in the 70’s in Ayer, with some of my other friends showed up. I had seen Walter at Pool Rooms and Clubs through the years. He said he had a place to stay in Iowa, which I still call I-owe-what? We packed up his car with my P.C. Stereo, TV and anything I else we could fit. The 4-door boat was packed full.

Luckily I had sold my cousins car, and kept the 550 for the trip. I made sure we stopped at the Driftwood Inn. I was surly left as driftwood on the shore. Of which my Pool Playing Brother John kept calling me a scum-bag for not paying my cousin for the car.

We hit Hastings I-owe-what? days latter. Hastings had a Bar, Post Office and Gas Station. The shack I was to spend the next 4 months crying to my self on an old raggedy couch had dirt for a floor. We did get the Electricity turned on so I wrote my story, and sent it out to all the addresses I had with me. But I mainly listened to Arlo on the stereo over and over again. Still dreaming of the day the world would be holding each-other’s hands.

I did win 6 straight bar 8-ball tournaments to pay for our food. There were 3 of us now, since Jason, who’s Grand Dad owned the shack joined us. I couldn’t even get up the energy to cut the 100 feet of lawn across the street at the Post Office.

I was getting torn apart by Little Carol on the east coast, and My X on the west. Carol would answer any letters, while the X would sign the paper for me to take out the last 2 grand in my annuity fund of the IBEW. After selling the P.C. and Stereo at an auction for next to nothing, I figured it was time to get back east.

It was murder to my shoulders carrying my tool box and Red Marlboro bag of clothes the 200 yards to the main road. Maybe and hour out there hitching, I caught a ride to I-80. Unfortunately I left my two welders caps on the dashboard of that ride. Then, I had to lugged my belongings up the entrance ramp of the highway. I could have died of heat exhaustion on the road, if a Man hadn’t picked me up who was going all the way to New York State.

On the New York Turnpike a State Trooper stopped by to check me out. I had all kinds of legal head-ache medicine, but he went through his med book to make sure I wasn’t carrying anything illegal. I did tell him I had a Pipe in my tool box. He made me throw it over the fence of the highway or else he was going to arrest me. I made some statement about this being America. He was only going to take me to the next exit, but I loosened him up some by telling him I was writing about spiritual and political stuff, and it was great of him to take me to the first exit in Massatack.

The next ride took me just south of Rte 2. Somehow I got to Gardner where my friend Joe had an unfinished house just a little bit better than the shack I had just spent 4 months at. No carpet, air-conditioning or shower. He did have an old P.C. I could continue my writing on. It was there that I had decided it was time to repaint instead of repent, which did get a chuckle out of Joe. He didn’t want to hear anything about Little Carol though, and I never brought her up.

He thought my story of being Michael had some interesting coincidences but would talk about it at all. He told me I was scaring people by my even mentioning the Bible, while he compared me to Charles Manson, though he did agree that I was much closer to Bobby Kennedy than C.M.

I got crucified a lot by 2 of my sisters who took me out to dinner. All they would talk about is that my daughter needed money. I wasn’t able to work, and they didn’t even think the family could come up with the 10 dollars each a week to help my get back on my feet. I suffered greatly from that family visit, and felt like I died a couple of times in Gardner over the rest of that summer.

Oh, the house did have a 4 by 8 pool table in it. I practiced one shot over 10,000 times, wearing tacks in the felt. It was a side shot about 18 inches from the side, with the cue ball down by the rack. I practiced all the different ways to get the cue-ball to land near a small rip in the cloth, just to the right of the spot. Over all I landed in the rip over 2 dozen times. It is a drill which has helped me get the cue ball pretty close to any where on the table it needs to go from a side shot.

Once the cold whether hit, Joe was nice about telling me I had to go. He did drive me all the way to Littleton though.

Chapter 22

Still being at home was the second worse place I could be. The first being the Hospital I call Worcester a-slum. At the house I was trying to get my parents to see the coincidence of my being 9 or 11 in the family of 12-counting my parents. In Revelation 9:11 it says the king of the souls let out of hell in Rev. 9 was Abaddon or Apollyon. I thought it was funny that I had had A-bad-done by a lady I had called sweet poly purebred. So I had a-bad-done by a-(sweet) poly-on the way to here. The family still refuses to see any coincidence. Even though, Zechariah 9:11 says prisoners where let out of hell too.

One day at the house while I was trying to get my point across to my Dad, a sister screamed at me to stop. I said, “What do you want to go through eternity without any teeth.” While her and my brother dragged me to the floor. I screamed at my brother, “What do you want to be, a headless dick-head for ever.”

Then my sister was so scared that I she thought I was going to knock her teeth out, that she called the cops. When they showed up, I said to them, “What can you say to a Family who won’t lift a finger to really help me?”

That was Halloween. In court they claimed I said the Pope was the anti-christ. That shows they still haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, for there is no anti-christ in Revelations or anywhere else in the Bible for that matter. There was a spirit of the anti-christ in Paul’s day, which said “the Lamb did not come in the flesh.” That same spirit is around today, and it says the Lamb is not coming in the flesh this time too.

At least at the Worcester A-slum they helped me apply for Social Security Disability. There isn’t much else to say about that slum. Except maybe that it is where I saw more oppression of the poor, than I have ever seen anywhere else. It was there that first saw the anti-drinking/drugging psycho-babble up close. Even Solomon said to give strong drink to him who’s life as gone sour, so he will feel his pain no longer. If they had given me some acid to go along with the Arlo Guthrie music I was soaking my soul with, my mind could have broken free from the heavy load laid upon my shoulders. From losing my home and being driven away from people I had grown to love at Forty’s Club.

I got through that winter by the 50 bucks a week my Dad would give me for smokes. It was also enough to get in the 8-Ball Tournament at the VFW in Littleton. I won all but one I played in that winter. They would tell me jokingly, “This is your pay day isn’t it.”

I was still writing Little Carol every week hoping she would return a letter. I still have no idea, why she couldn’t. Every week, I kept hoping I could break through to her how important it was for me to hear from her.

Chapter 23

It sure was nice to get that S.S.D.I going back over a year’s time. THEY had just given me my right to dive sober back, so I paid cash for a 93 Red 4-Door Chevy Cavalier. I still had almost 10 grand left to play with, and $1150 coming every month.

The Woodstock of 3-Cushion Billiards was a couple of months a way. So after going into Forty’s Club and asking Forty if I could come back in, with a negative response, I headed west. I stopped of course at the Driftwood Inn in Ohio for the 3rd time.

My head felt like 1000 bumble bees had stung me inside my brain. Memories of all the People in Lemon-Minister I got driven away from. Still I was dreaming of the days in Arlo’s music when the world would be holding each-other’s hands. And we would feed the hungry, heal the sick and set the prisoners free. I had heard Arlo play in western Massatack on my way west, and knew he was playing in Washington around the time I was due to get there. What I would have given to see his bus, and follow him all the way.

New Age of Aquarius

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Leonard Cohen | London Live concert | The end |

Friday, December 30, 2011

Traveling wilbury's - VOL 1

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Ron Paul-- What Some Black People Think

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Founders Revolution: Quote of the Day.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Occupy Wall Street Rag (Where's the LOVE- Where'dat money Go?)

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Saturday, November 12, 2011

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Ron Paul to Bill O'Reilly: I Don't Like Demagogues

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Worker Ownership Cooperatives, modeled after Mondragon, are part of the way out of this mess the 99% - The Petition Site

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Ron Paul GOP CNN Nevada Debate Responses

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Kicking Around On a Piece of Ground in Your Home Town

Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Last Nail - Floor Speech May 25 2011

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